giantspacefetus:

my entire life is comprised of me deciding if i should fiesta or siesta

(via internalfrontierseternalidealist)

catb0y:

gweneveree:

bowtiesinthedungeon:

A direct quote from The Times newspaper, talking about a Peter Ustinov documentary and saying that:

 “highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector”.

Pro Oxford comma for life

i think i’m anti oxford comma now

tell me more about nelson mandela the demi-god dildo collector

(via unnecessaryligatures)

epiicer:

If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife

(via hipandrelateable)

snoozlebee:

dekutree:

acceptable pet names:

• babe
• baby
• sweetie
• cutie pie
• darling
• honey

unacceptable pet names:

• boo boo sweetie oojy woojy poogy poo
• cthulhu 
• sweet devil prince in the pale moon light
• Leslie
• floor
• 2% milk
• Ella Fitzgerald

i think you have these mixed up

(via sleepylittleponds)

yurihooves:

i have two sneezes

the fairy princess sneeze

and the death metal sneeze

(via n3revar-moon-and-star)

mintmeow:

i’ve got 99 problems and being a decaying organism that’s born to die in a society run by money that i can’t escape is one of them 

(via we-avenge-if-we-want-to)